How many times have you tried online dating only for it to only end in a failure? If you do manage to get a woman to talk to you, they seem to disappear or the conversations dwindle out. Of course the most common thing to happen to us men is that you can message a hundred women and never get a response, nor does it seem any women are writing to your profile.
The next thing you know, you start doubting yourself, thinking the worst things about yourself and then watch your self-esteem and confidence go down the drain, is there any hope? Well don’t despair, because there are people that can show you how to write an online dating profile for men, not a generic one for everyone, one just for the guys.
You’re Not On A Level Playing Field
One thing men need to know about online dating that reduces every man’s chances of success is that there are more men per dating sites than there are women. Some statistics show 73 to 27, others say 55% to 45%.
eHarmony actually has a more even match than most but you will find it more common that other sites have a larger amount of younger men and a good amount of older women, so the gender and age matching doesn’t create a level playing field. Should age be an issue, well that is a whole other topic?
Did She See My Message?
Another thing that lessens men’s chances are that women get hundreds of messages every day from horny guys that think saying “What’s Up” is going to get them a date. So women have many messages to go through and is easy for them to overlook and miss yours. So men are already at a disadvantage when they first sign up to a dating site, so keep that in mind before beating yourself up.
Think About The Age Difference
Addressing the age thing a little, let’s say you’re in your 50’s and you see the hottest and cutest 21 year old. Granted, you may still feel like you are in your 20’s and you could probably show here some things in the bedroom but look at it from her perspective.
You are a grody old man to her, she may like older men, she may even have that mentioned in her profile but what is an older man to her. I have found this usually means someone not exceeding 42, chances are she is not going to respond to your message.
Many people get on these sites looking for the now fix and fun but women have this subconscious thought about long term, would they want to marry someone they will be burying in 15 to 20 years or grosses them out to think about dating a man as old as their father.
This mindset also works the other way, a man being in his 30’s or 40’s is more than likely not going to line himself up on a date with a woman in her 60’s. So possibly age is a factor and should have some thought put in it before reaching out to a woman on a dating site.
The Sites You Need To Avoid
Then there are sites that are just plain stupid, ridiculous and are frauds. There is a rash of sites, all with different names but with all the same layout, format and when you look at them closely, all the same girls. These sites are the ones that mostly offer guaranteed sex and are filled with naked women on them. This has scam written all over it and should be avoided, think of it this way.
Any email, ad or site that tells you that you can be making 7 figures in a week you know is fraud. So treat these cheesy dating sites the same, these are sites just to collect your email addresses, money and do just what it takes to take advantage of your desire for a woman.
Let’s Start Looking Into Writing An Awesome Dating Profile
So what can you do to improve your online dating success? First you have to realize anytime you put yourself out there to get anything, you have to learn marketing. Don’t feel or think that you have to change who you are and be someone you aren’t. You never want to do that, you just need to market yourself, market your best qualities.
Some people are just natural about being charismatic, able to light a room when they walk in it. More people than not often keep many things about themselves reserved and hidden. So the way you act in person is just as important is how you act online.
Your Personality Comes Out Even Unseen
Did you know that when talking on the phone, the person on the other end can pick up what mood you are in based off you if you are smiling or not? Same goes to chatting on a dating site, if you are already skeptical or just not putting in a positive effort on trying to get a date, you will come across that way and that will destroy your chances quickly.
Wonder Why The Jerks Get The Girls?
Ever noticed that the women always seem to fall for a bad boy, some jerk you know is a piece of crap and you left wondering how this “low-life” got such a hot and great gal. Well these type of guys do it because “THEY DON”T CARE”, getting women is a fun time play to them.
Women like to be challenged and like excitement so when you come up apologizing because you are asking them out, ding-ding-ding, you are boring, too nice and not a challenge or fun. Of course you don’t want to be that player guy, however learn from this “I don’t care” personality, you will see how this works for you.
Your Ugly Mug Shot
Of course every dating site wants your ugly mug posted beside your biography, this is important as well as your extra pictures, (Photo Gallery) you place on your profile. You will want to put some thought into this profile picture, may be a great idea to get a photographer to take it.
Don’t use a picture of you without your shirt, even if you have the best body since Hercules, this turns women off. Another tip is to make sure that your pictures don’t include your messy housekeeping in the background.
Women notice and even look for things like this, so if you are remodeling your house and have Sheetrock ripped off the walls down to the studs, don’t use this room for your selfie.
Remember how I mentioned earlier that your mood can be detected even on the other end of a phone? Well this really applies to your picture so using your picture you have from your work badge or an arrest report really won’t work.
First impressions guys, this is the first thing women look at even before reading about you. You want to be in a great mood, be positive, smiling and yet looking like you don’t have a care. Your picture needs to say, “I am inviting you on the best adventure of your life”.
Your Other Pictures – Your Photo Gallery
Having a picture of you with other people having fun is a great one. This makes you look exciting and interesting but don’t post a picture that has so many others in the shot that they can tell which one you are.
Again, the pictures with no shirts is bad unless it is of you out on your boat or at the beach, then you are showing you do things that are interesting. Pictures of yourself doing what you like, showing off your passions, how you enjoy life are the best.
Animals And Kid Pictures
Another point to make is animals and kids, just don’t do it. A picture with you loving on your animal is great and can get you positive results but posting pictures of just your animal is just not going to do it. With your kids, you need to use some common sense here, do you really want to post pictures of your kids on a dating site?
Doing so on Facebook is one thing, you have control who sees those but on a dating site, you do not know who you are exposing your kids to and you really do not know who is on the other end of that keyboard. Nothing wrong about being proud of your children but it is also your job to protect them and keep them out of your dating life.
Creating Your Profile – Look At Other Men’s Profiles First
Go look at other guy’s profiles, take notes on ones that seem interesting and the mistakes you find to help you compile a better profile. If you find other men’s profiles boring, you know the women will too. You can spot the one’s that brag or just full of it in general, don’t follow after these. Look for what you are sure are lies or things that don’t add up. Then look for things that seem true and how it is structured.
Show That You Have Passion – Show You Like Yourself And Your Life
Saying Hi and your name and listing your favorite things can be boring to a woman. For example let’s say you collect worms, you could tell about it in a way that you are guaranteed you will never get a date before you die or you can write it out like it is a better adventure than Star Wars. You are trying to sound exciting and passionate so if worm collecting is your passion, be passionate about it.
Show You Are Worthwhile
You don’t want to write a novel, again, if the length of what a girl has to read is too long, they will move on to the next. However you do want to make note, mention or list your dreams, your goals or places you want to get to or where you see yourself in the future. The point is, let them know you are going somewhere in your life, that you do offer a future and not some bum living with your mom.
Avoid Negative Topics
Talk about things in your life that are funny, upbeat and positive, telling everyone that your significant other died in a horrible care wreck and it was a choice of committing suicide or getting on this dating site, you will not be getting a date anytime soon. Trying to start a relationship out of pity is doomed for failure. Keep it fun, positive and a bit entertaining, try and show you are not taking it so seriously. You are there to meet new people and have a nice time.
How To Get Her To Read Your Message
When sending a woman a message, you need to show her that you can be fun, be a challenge and unique. You do this by showing her your best attributes. If you are that funny guy when you are out with your buddies, be funny with her.
Don’t ask her how it’s going or why she is on the dating site, most women on dating sites get hundreds of messages daily and most of those are things like “Hi”, “How Are You”, “Your Hot” and they have no use for that. The trick is, don’t be so serious or act like she is the only woman on the dating site to message
Your Message Length And Message Itself
Women want you to make an effort in a message but they are also not looking for a 50 paragraph mini novel, so you need to think about something to say that is unique and something that is going to interest them, meaning write a great opening line or subject line and keep the length long enough to show she is worth some words but short enough she will actually read it. .
You may write a message like, “Hey, I need a good driver for my getaway car, cut you in 50/50, are you in?” You can base funny lines like this off of things they revealed about themselves in their profiles.
Let’s list out the key things you need to do to either write for the first time or improve your online dating profile.
- Before you start at any of this, approach it with a positive and optimistic outlook
- Take time and thought into creating your pictures
- Write a great profile that is unique and actually markets your best qualities
- Send unique messages that stand you out from the rest, that say you’re fun to talk with
Of course there is no guarantee that you will get every woman you message to message you back in online dating and no can promise that. However if you follow these suggestions above, you should see an increase of interest in your dating profile through both women sending you messages and replying. As with anything, you will need to practice and make changes along the way till you get it tweaked to your liking.
I learned most of the above from a few reputable dating coaches and the advice turned my online dating activity around. I used to never get replies and rarely would ever get a message sent to me. I followed these guidelines everything improved.
There is an eBook from one of the dating coaches that really helped my success along faster. It was packed with a lot of great information and opened my eyes up to things I should have known or did know but just not using or applying to my online dating tactics.
If you want faster results and some real advice from a professional, check out this eBook: Online Dating Success For Men
If you have any questions or thoughts, please leave me a comment and I will try and get back to you as soon as I can.