I have been on several dating sites. One of the most laughable things I ran across are what mostly women write in their profiles. Many women write that they want instant romantic chemistry. They all say that they are going to know in the first five minutes when meeting someone.
All I can say is good luck on always being disappointed. I personally believe in love at first sight, and believe there can be instant chemistry. But that fact is, the likelihood of instant romantic chemistry is less that 1 in 10. This again, is totally unrealistic expectations. Sadly both women and men think this way.
The Romantic Notion Of Instant Romantic Chemistry
As I said, women say it more than men, but both sexes say it. They want that instant chemistry when they meet someone. Women are stubborn, if there is no instant click, then they are ready to move on.
It is a wonderful, and really romantic fantasy, to think you will meet someone and it is instant love. I am a romantic, and that to me would be a dream come true. But the cold hard facts are, slim to none will it ever happen.
For some people, they’ll meet someone and feel there is an instant romantic chemistry. However, this intervention is usually a fling. The pheromones are there and this usually leads to a short-lived fun time. Lots of sex, a few good dates and then it ends.
The idea of an instant connection is romantically awesome, and it does happen at times. But realistically, it is very rare that there is an instant romantic chemistry that actually last.
So, if you are holding out to meet that instant love. You will more than likely die alone. Do not sell yourself short of find something real. Romantic chemistry; true love, is often best when you give it time to develop.
The Reality Of It All
Before getting out there and start trying to score a date. Regardless if it is online dating or in person, know what you really want. If you are looking for instant romantic chemistry, be honest with yourself. Are you really just wanting sex right away or are you looking for true love?
It is very rare that two people are going to meet, instantly have sex and live happily ever after. So, before being committed to this, got to have instant chemistry idea. Know what your end game goal is.
Think about it, have you ever wondered why people just don’t stay together? Why the divorce rate is over 50% now? Have you ever heard the phrase, “Fools Rush In?”
Everyone is in a rush these days and relationships aren’t something to be rushed. That is if you are wanting forever. If you are looking for good enough for now, then aim for that instant connection.
Where it mostly fails out is appearance and stature. Women have to have a guy that is tall, has to be minimum of six feet. Doesn’t matter that she is four foot ten, has to be a tall guy. A lot of this is stature, an image of “look what I got.” Men have to have a Victoria Secret Model. All for the same reason, and both are for sexual reasons as well.
However, all of these lame criteria are shallow and promote relationship failing. But as I said, it all depends on what you are looking for. Instant sex or something long-lasting.
The Confusion Of Instant Romantic Chemistry
Many people get confused on instant chemistries. There are many types but I will cover three of the ones that are the most relevant.
Just Hitting It Off
There is the kind where you just click right off the bat. Your conversation just flows with ease, as well as you’re flirting. You find it very easy to converse, laugh and be direct with each other. This is actually just hitting it off with someone, don’t assume it is instant love.
This type of connection is usually the kind that can lead to a forever relationship. This shouldn’t be confused with the other two types.
The Sexual Kind
You have the kind of connection that is purely sexual. You meet someone and you can just literally feel the chemicals in your body aching for the other person. This is just a physical attraction and although it can lead to some hot sex, beware from there.
The sexual connection can lead to years in a relationship with someone. And usually if both parties know it is just that, it will work for a while. But in the long haul, chances are, the sex is all you have in common. Relationships are more than just sex, so tread carefully.
The Fairytale
Then you have the one everyone fantasizes about, the one written in romance novels. You meet someone and from that moment on, you can’t get them out of you head. You have butterflies in your stomach, you can’t sleep, even your thoughts are all messed up.
You become obsessed with this person. Even though this is the way love should work, this is the one that screws you more than all of them.
More times than not, this is the one that leads into horrible breakups and divorce. Often, we unconsciously tend to gravitate to familiarity. Meaning, you go with what you know without real thought. So, we all have had bad relationships in our past. We will keep in mind the good stuff, like the sex or the way you felt at first.
This is exciting, so too many act on this and get involved way too fast. Not realizing they are repeating the same mistakes of their past. Sadly, this is real instant romantic chemistry, but that doesn’t mean it is good for you.
One description of insanity is making the same mistake, over and over. So, don’t be insane, and take the time to get to know the person.
I can honestly say that I went through this myself. I met someone who I thought was it, all the butterflies and the works. Turned out to be the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life.
What Do You Want?
Men are mostly thought of as just sex fiends. They we only have a one-track mind and that is to just get sex. This has some merit, but it isn’t completely true. You have men that are a “boob-man”, or an “ass-man”. This kind of indicates, that this is all they are after, but don’t really believe that.
Men want love and the forever just as much as women. Women are connected more to their emotions than men are. So, men tend to go for what is convenient or quick and move on. Would you believe men behave this way because they don’t have real game?
It is easier for a guy to find a girl that is easy, than to go after ones he really wants. So, this stamps him as a sex fiend and one-tracked. The truth is, most men are clueless when it comes to seducing women.
A man may have more than one reason to seducing a woman. Yes, it could be for only sex but it could be that he wants more. No matter the reason a guy may want a girl, he needs to master how to do it. To rely solely on instant romantic chemistry, is going to create long waits to be with someone.
Figure out what you want, then figure out how to get it. That is the normal method to finding a solution to any problem.
Work Toward A Solution
If you have been using gimmicks or stupid pickup lines, ask yourself this. Is this all you know or are you just looking for sex? I can tell you; this isn’t going to work for getting a girl no matter what you want.
A guy has to have an edge, the power. Women want men to have the edge and power, so when they don’t, they are disappointed. Coming off too nice can seem needy and that is a huge turn off.
For a man to be successful in getting dates just for sex or to get married. He needs to know a few things. He has to be able to understand the types of women there are, mostly the ones to avoid. Then how to actually communicate. The most important one is, understand a woman’s body language. Know how to read real signals and not just guess at them
Another important rule that most stubborn guys can’t comprehend. There are plenty of women in this world. Meaning, if a girl doesn’t seem interested, move on. It isn’t healthy to put too much effort into someone that isn’t interested in you. Or worse, a girl that isn’t good for you period.
I ran across a dating coach for men that has some good insight on men getting women. Women, of course understand women and what they want, far better than men. So, it might be worth checking her out. You can read all about her down below, she has been getting great results helping men get dates.
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