When you think of online dating, or anything online really. You might think, “what a cinch.” In reality there are many things online that are not straight forward. Doing anything online requires more skills and experience than you could imagine. Romance is probably the biggest challenge, that’s why you should read over these online dating tips.
40% of Americans are on dating sites these days. Trying to find anything from friendships, sex to getting married. Sadly, many of this 40% do not succeed at a relationship. The numbers aren’t bad. It might even have you wondering if “Online Dating Even Really Works”? Don’t worry, it does..
About 17% of married people reported that they met online. 60% say that they have had a positive experience with online dating sites. This is far better than when online dating first started. Is there a secret or method to be successful at online dating? To learn more, see Online Dating Statistics.
Some Good Online Dating Tips
There are tons of online dating help for men, not so much for women. However, most of the advice is going to be close. Men have a little more childish behaviors than women, but it really boils down to using commonsense.
I would say women treat online dating sites, more like an online shopping mall. But really, men are almost as bad. People tend to forget, dating sites are pretty much a social site. So, getting on dating sites and treating people badly will come back to haunt you. Everyone should show respect for others.
Out of all the online dating tips you can start with, get yourself ready before getting online. All dating sites require you to setup a profile. This means a user name, pictures and writing content about yourself and what you are looking for. Which leads into the first tip.
Know What You Want
Before getting on a dating site and start messaging and liking everyone on it. Think about what it is you really want. If you are on there just to get laid, then write your profile accordingly. Don’t be getting on a site saying how you are looking for your soulmate, when you are looking for a good-time. All you are doing is being a liar. You’re setting someone up that wants true love, only to get hurt.
It is OK not to know exactly what you are looking for. You may need to browse for a while to see what is out there. However, you should still have a general idea what you seek. You can break it down in categories. Something physical; casual; just friends or are you wanting a forever? But if you’re unsure, browse what is available before making your profile public.
I highly recommend sitting down before you get online and write down what you think you really want. You will get better results and increase your chances of getting a date if you focus.
Don’t Be Stupid About What You Want
I had to include this due to my own experience and saying you need to know what you want. This has to be thrown out there to get you into reality. If your list of what you want, mostly includes physical attributes. Just make your profile out that all you want is sex. Yes, we all have our idea of what we want in looks. However, looks cannot be what it all is about.
I actually had a girl that was way less than 5 foot tall, tell me we couldn’t date because I was just shy of six-foot. This is called total stupidity, perhaps retarded. Might have been different if her profile read that she was just looking for a physical connection. But it read she wanted true love.
Again, dating sites are not push-button automated shopping malls. Getting someone with the ideal looks, isn’t going to guarantee ideal connection.
In other words, men. If you are looking for a Victoria Secret Model, ask yourself why. Are you wanting looks for arm candy, just pure hot sex? Or are you wishing the girl of your dreams is going to look like Jessica Alba? Be honest with yourself.
This is all the same for you ladies. Are you just looking for stature, to have hot arm candy? Or are you looking for a forever? It is OK to have a general idea of what someone looks like that might fit who you are. But to ghost people because of their height or other silly reasons is just stupid.
Keep Your Expectations Realistic
Be honest with yourself of what you are looking for. If it is sex, then go for the physical attributes. Just let others know that is what it is. Don’t shun someone because they don’t fit you fantasy physical idea. You may be missing out on something wonderful. Just because the guy isn’t 6 foot plus tall, doesn’t mean he can’t rock your world. Both in bed and in your heart.
Same for the men. Just because a girl isn’t a thin beanpole model, doesn’t mean she can’t turn your world around. Having expectations that an online dating site is going to conger up Ken or Barbie. You are setting yourself up for failure. In other words, give more people chances by not solely basing everything on looks alone.
Also, do not take every profile you read at face value. Many people create their profiles to be more than what they are. Even a lot of profile pictures are old photos. I met one girl who was really cute, well until I actually met her. Turns out all of her photos were from her senior year from high school.
It is very wise to know what you want. However, placing huge expectations on a dating site will depress you. People are people, no matter how hot or ugly they are. The truth about a person is from really getting to know them.
If you are looking for that Instant Romantic Chemistry, you might want to really think about that. This kind of thinking is flawed heavily. The notion and idea are a wonderful thought, but wake up. You are on the internet, not in person. That instant chemistry, is like 1% of a million to happen.
Create An Honest Profile That Represents The Best Of You
When it comes to online dating sites, it is very common for people to lie about themselves. Even little lies can cause problems. Saying that you love to hike, when truthfully, you never go outside, is a bone-head move. If you really are the type to collect molds, spores and fungus, write that.
When it comes to being honest, there are things you need to leave out. Don’t go on how you’re on this site because of a break up with a ex. Or how you have hated men or women and thought to give it another chance. This may be truthfully how you feel, but this also says you have issues and baggage.
In reality, if you are still carrying a torch for an old flame or just can’t get past a previous relationship. Do everyone a favor and wait before getting on a dating site. These may sound like harsh online dating tips, but it is the truth.
Write positive content about yourself, what you are looking for your goals and outlooks. Showing that you are looking ahead with plans, shows you are independent, mature and not needy.
However, writing things like you don’t need a man or woman, makes you seem uninviting. Be confident about who you are and what you like. Being overly self-deprecating is also a huge turn off and promotes negativity. Being confident and positive are two good online dating tips to follow.
People seem to relate to visuals more than reading. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to write good content about yourself. But a picture can be worth a thousand words. When you are taking selfies, there are some commonsense things you need to pay attention to.
First off, NO BATHROOM PICTURES!!!! Out of all the online dating tips you will ever get, stay out of the bathrooms in your pictures. I can’ tell you how many times I have seen big turds floating in toilets. A big box of tampons on a counter in women’s bathroom selfies. Similar things for the guys as well.
Unless you are just on a dating site for sex, stop trying to show off your body. Guys want to have many shots without their shirts on. Girls are always in front of mirrors showing off their boobs or turned around to show off their nice rounded booty.
Images that advertise you best, are what you do in your everyday life. When a guy sees a hot girl in her bikini, he isn’t thinking he wants marry her. His thoughts are all the ways he can do her in bed.
Again, if sex is all you’re after, then show off that body. However, if something more serious is what you are looking for, then take pictures that show who you are.
Online Dating Tips For Photos
Out of all the online dating tips so far, it is important to know, for success, it takes some effort. Meaning, taking a quick selfie, or throwing out some old picture just to get on a dating site won’t work. Put some effort into this, you are after all trying to show the best you possible.
Here are some examples of what your pictures should follow:
Put some emotion into your shots. It really helps if you can get a friend or family member to take pictures of you. Take shots of things you like to do. And NO, sitting in front of the TV drinking a beer is ridiculous.
If you like to cook, have someone take some shots of that. Gardening or working in the garage might be an idea.
Derek Cajun did a goofy video to help men create better profile, he goes over pictures. Even though this was intended for men, it is sound advice for both men and women. I recommend watching his VIDEO.
Think About You Picture Before Uploading It
It helps if you can get someone that is good with a camera to take shots of you doing normal things. Catching you smiling and happy and being in a positive mood.
Don’t be putting shots of your cats or dogs as solo shots. No one is planning on dating your animals or kids. When it comes to kids, you some damn sense. We live in a crazy world and the internet is a great place for weirdos. So, unless you want your kid stalked or kidnapped, leave solo shots out.
Pictures with your animals or kids is OK with you in them. However, the main focus needs to be on you. Same with group shots. Do not be using photos with you so close to other people that no one can tell who you are. Pics with friends is great, but I have seen some of girls all huddled together that I couldn’t make out who was who.
If you had been living with someone. Ensure not to use old pictures that make it look you are currently. Again, think about what all is in the background of your shot.
For guys, a shot in your bedroom with women’s clothes hanging around doesn’t go well. Same for women in those bathroom shots. What do you think a guy is going to think when he sees an electric shaver laying around?
You Are Advertising Yourself
When on a dating site, you have to create a profile that sells you. Writing your profile takes a bit of an advertising mentality. Your profile has to be written to represent who you are. It needs to be done in a way that many understand what you are saying. Remember, everyone can have a different perspective on things read and viewed.
For example, some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.
With that said, you should advertise yourself with the idea that a variety of audiences that will view it. Granted, if you are just looking for sex, it makes your target audience narrower. However, there are still going to be multiple perspectives. So, you could offend some while turning others on.
You want to present yourself honestly, don’t be saying you are six-foot when you are really four. Don’t be lying about being married ,or presenting yourself as you were fifteen years ago.
Show off your best qualities, be positive and be someone that anyone would like to be around. Ensure that you are showing the qualities that will make someone want to get to know you.
Do not brag about yourself, you want to market yourself naturally. Remember, marketing is basically taking a targeted problem and providing the solution. So, make yourself the solution without trying to sell yourself. This is just online dating tips 101 that you really need to work on.
Have A Great Header And Introduction
Out of all the things to do setting up your profile, this is the hardest. You are trying to sum up what you want and who you are in just a few words. Plus, it needs to be something that will catch everyone’s attention.
Writing a header that says, “Desperately Seeking Love, ” says you’re needy and desperate. You would have more fun and better luck with something like this. “Getaway Driver Needed, Taking Applications.”
The introduction is a little longer and gives a better opportunity to say more about you and what you want. However, it would still be best to be light and witty, something that is catchy. A good example to go with the mentioned header.
“I work in with finances, seem like I am always on the run. Looking to lighten the load with a Bonnie to my Clyde.”
Once you actually get to section where you can write more about you, and what you are looking for. This is where you can talk about the real you and how adding a partner in crime would be nice. Kind of end your biography with what your introduction stated. A good story teller and comedian always loop the beginning back to the end.
Sending And Receiving Messages
My first advice for online dating tips on messaging is towards the men. Men are notorious for blasting out way too many messages. They see a girl they desperately want, so they start sending.
These messages are usually stupid, but then they don’t stop. They send one, they don’t get a reply. Now they are sending all these messages to the same girl as if they were already in a conversation. Can you say CREEPY?
Guys, you have to understand, this comes off as desperate and needy. Also, women receive hundreds of messages a day. So, you are going to have to write smart and thought out, catchy subject lines to get her to read it. There is just no way a woman can read all the messages in her inbox. So, she has to scan for those that stand out.
Men And Women
This is for both men and women. If “Hey, Hi, Hello, Wasup” and greetings like this, are all you know. Go get a dictionary or a thesaurus. You should write from the heart or what is on your mind. But these greetings are boring. For women’s inboxes, I bet they have hundreds of “Hey’s.”
For a man to receive a “Hey,” isn’t so bad, his inbox has far less than women have in theirs. But when someone puts a little thought in the greeting. That can make you feel you are worth a little something.
Be creative, really read the persons profile and make you message reflect that in the subject line. If you’re writing good profiles, you are going to be giving many opportunities for someone to write a catchy message.
Another tip. Just because someone send you a message, don’t assume that is a guaranteed date. Remember, the whole idea of a dating site, regardless what you are looking for, is getting to know each other.
Value Your Time And Respect Yourself
If you get into messaging and conversation with someone. At any time, you start to feel that the person of interest isn’t going to be right for you. Politely let them know, don’t string them along or use up your time. You could be using that time and energy onto someone that might be a better fit.
Going back to the Creepy messages. If you send out a message, then possibly a second one, stop there. It is OK to send out at least two messages to someone. As mentioned, inboxes can get full, to a second message might be a good idea to get seen.
However, if you haven’t got a reply back, stop there. There is no reason to obsess or waste your time on someone that isn’t interested. This also goes back to respecting each other. Hounding someone is not respectful.
Quick List Of Online Dating Tips To Sum It Up!!
Be honest, kindness is inviting and can be considered hot. Don’t use words like drama in your profile. Even if you are trying to convey you are against it. Women can take this the wrong way. Overall, the word can raise a red flag in general.
Ensure that your pictures show your eyes, a smile and things you like to do. You want to be happy and inviting in all your images.
Do not put solo pictures of your kids, animals, cars, trophies or of anything that isn’t you. Also, for the guys, keep your images something a woman can relate to. Fishing or even you hanging tight on a curve on your motorcycle might not be that inviting.
One more thing, asking for more photos is a turn off. If you think the profile is suspicious, it might be OK to validate the are real. This also brings up a good point. Look for those that also have good profiles. This shows they are serious about getting to know someone.
Do not just use Hi or Hey in your first message you send out, be creative to catch their attention.
If messaging or chatting is going well, do not drag it out too long. If you feel somewhat safe, move it forward to a meet. Let them know you are interested in the next step.
If you are in the middle of messages or chatting and you have to go. Do not just walk off, be sure to be nice and let them know. Arrange a new time to continue talking.
Emojis are the worst, that isn’t having a conversation. If you don’t know how to write or talk in languages we all understand, don’t message. A few emojis after a written sentence is OK, but to bombard a whole message with them is stupid.
Men, do not start out conversations with women calling them sweetie or honey. I wouldn’t even use beautiful as nick name in the beginning.
Also, do not go on about their looks. Again, if you both are looking for sex, tell her how you can handle that body. If you are wanting something more real, leave those kinds of observations to the side. It is better to make observations about what is going on in the photo or where it was taken.
Both men and women can be nervous when starting off a connection. Just talk to each other like you would anyone else. Imagine you are talking to someone from work or a friend. Let the conversation flow freely.
For both men and women, I firmly suggest confidence. Coming off unsure, makes you seem like you are a risk.
What You Are Looking For
You may want that fantasy dream person but don’t cloud your senses with a fantasy. Consider someone you might not usually be attracted to. If all your failed relationships were of a certain type, this is the time to look for a different type.
Remember, meeting people in person or online can be awkward at first. Always be sure to give everyone a chance.
In all my years of research and trying out dating sites and so forth. I have seen so much help for men on this subject. Granted, women are more sought after than men are. This isn’t to say women don’t have men they want really badly. Women just seem to have more of a maturity about it.
Men are more like kids in a candy store mentality. Plus, men seem to be extremist. They brag way too much on how great they think they are or do the opposite and are too scared to approach women. Usually it is the latter, many men lack confidence.
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