It seems that getting dates and attracting women is still after all these centuries, a mystery for many men. So many misleading and confusing theories that are out there and many experts that are selling you complex crap when I think it is more basic and follows an easier common sense approach.
Men are told by their mothers to be nice and gentlemanly, our fathers tell us to play hard to get and games. Men’s buddies feed us a bunch of lines and many pickup-artist offer advice to be yourself and all of these just don’t seem to work.
I have been reading over some statistics and surveys that have been done with men whose dating lives have picked up over a course of a year or so from their own trials and errors. When asked what they learned or noticed over the time things started improving that could be tips for other men, they reported the following 7 must have techniques to attract women:
1 – “Make statements and don’t ask questions”
When making more statements than asking questions makes a man appears more confident and women find this more interesting and attractive. When men ask a lot of questions, it shows he is not certain about things and gives off a sense of insecurity.
Of course there are always times you are going to have to ask questions but limit them or think about your question and try delivering at the right time. Also don’t come off like you are a “know-it-all”, which is as bad if not worse than asking too many questions.
2 – “Become that attractive confident man”
Women have a keen sense of radar for guys that are just plain full of it, so walking up to a girl and acting like your confident just isn’t going to cut it. To be confident is to feel it and to believe it and not just for some attractive girl, you need to be that even more when no one is around.
Find something about yourself that you know really well and that you know you are good at or know a lot about. It doesn’t matter if it is the geekiest thing on the planet, list the things about yourself that you like and that you are happy about and start feeling confident about that.
Now you have a secret and no need in telling anyone, just keep it to yourself, be confident about it and then you’re ready to face not only attractive women but everyone. Always focus on the positive and not dwell on the negative. Be the guy that has the secrets to attracting women, makes you a mystery and that promotes confidence
3 – “Being Nice!! What’s Wrong With You?”
As hard as it is for a lot of guys, you are going to have to stop being so nice. Being really nice or overly nice to women makes you appear needy and that you are seeking approval, this is an automatic stamp of a wuss. Granted you should be nice to those who deserve it and when the time is right and limited.
Don’t be a jerk or uncaring by no means but always offering to put yourself out for others frequently makes no real friends and kind of turns you into a doormat. By throwing out a nice gesture here and there keeps the mystery, you become unpredictable and you will find not only better success with women but a better potential for real friends.
4 – “Never be ashamed of the person you want to be and want you want”
Being a man is knowing what you want and not being afraid to say so. Obviously we do not live in the old westerns where you’re going to fight over silly opinions but if you don’t like something and you don’t want it, don’t be afraid to say something about it.
Always be respectful but don’t be flaky and back pedal your opinion trying to impress anyone. If you and a girl are talking about a song and she hates it but you love it, tell her you love it. This shows you have an opinion, you know what you want and you stand by it. In other words, it’s confidence, see how all these tie together?
5 – “Never pretend to be someone you’re not”
This again goes back to being fake, women can sense it and even if they don’t upfront, how long do you think you can carry the façade anyway. You might think it would be hard to be confident if you were homeless with nothing to your name but if you present yourself that this is the choice you made to live that way or that you are at a low right now but you are going to change it, that shows belief in yourself.
You have to realize, no one can fully believe in you if you don’t. You can’t find a woman to do all the believing in you for you to be something, you have to do all that yourself. If you don’t like yourself, why would others?
6 – “Quit hiding behind what is comfortable and what you know”
Just like working out with weights, building muscle, you have to get yourself out of your comfort zone often. Think about it, if what you have tried up till now still isn’t working, that is telling you you’re going to have to do something different. Different doesn’t mean a variation of what you have been doing, it means push yourself to do things you’re not comfortable with.
Of course this doesn’t mean start smoking or doing drugs or some extreme sport that is going to get you hurt or killed. Do things like dancing, learn how if you don’t know. Look at some of the people around and what their interest are or what others are doing that you couldn’t imagine yourself doing. Stretch those social muscles and build that inner game.
7 – “What in the world is your body saying?”
Body language guys, 93% of attraction is in body language. Things like posture, movement, touch, vocal tone, facial expressions and eye contact. If you are not paying a little attention to this, you will be shot down before even getting out the first word.
If you’re dragging your feet walking towards a girl while looking down and around, with a slouched posture, what do you think you are saying to her before you even get there? If you said, “I’m scared”, “I am not sure what to do or say”, “I don’t stand with confidence”. This is like waving a flag begging girls to reject you.
When I have looked for dating advice, programs or even coaches, I like to find the ones that follow basic human nature and common sense. Learning lines to spin off to a girl or trying to duplicate someone else’s actions is the sales pitch you could use but not the fix. I think the real truth is confidence and the power of positive thinking. Follow products, programs and coaches that use this rule of thumb and I think you will be a big success.
If you have any questions or thoughts, please leave me a comment and I will try and get back to you as soon as I can.