Dating can be nerve racking all on its own. Men usually face a fear of having a lack of confidence. Women, are not comfortable being with a guy without confidence. For a woman, going out with a guy that is too shy to talk or says all the wrong things. This can create awkwardness and this often make women feel very uncomfortable. So, are there confidences men must have to date successfully?
For men going on a date with real confidence, makes for a really nice experience for both. Don’t mistake confidence with arrogance. Being a know it all and a jerk doesn’t make you confident, just makes you a bad date.
There is something you have to understand about real confidence. Not only will it improve your dating life, but all of your life. Confidence is really just being comfortable with who you are and believing in yourself. This improves with your friendships, your job and how you deal with day-to-day issues. So, let’s look at some of the confidences men must have to date successfully.
Building A Core Confidence
Now I could just write out a list of what you need to say, do and act like. Which might get you through the first date but won’t last through the next. Before you go out and try to fake real confidence, lets work on building the real thing.
Set Goals and Accomplish Them
I have found if you make a list of things you want to get done. These can be things around the house, at work or even things on your bucket list. Review these things and look for ones that aren’t super time consuming. Stick to it and get these things done. As you do, you will start feeling more accomplished and positive.
Eventually you will start looking at longer term projects. You have to realize that these are task, some will go quickly, while others will take effort. But as long as you stick to them, you will start to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself is the one of the biggest elements to confidence.
Pay attention to your progress as you move forward on your goals. Write your accomplishments down and record your to-do list. This will help you keep on course, plus you can see how much you are progressing.
One goal you should have, is keep in shape. You may have a little extra weight or you might just want to tone some muscle. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good for yourself. So, make a goal to workout or exercise regularly. Being healthy can make you feel really good about yourself.
Don’t Be Afraid to Fail
One of the hardest things to gaining confidence and success, is failure. Fear is the biggest crippler you will ever face. So many of are afraid to take a chance, not realizing that trying to stay safe is your failure.
As you try to accomplish your goals, you may start to feel overwhelmed. This is where many back off and quit. No matter what is discouraging you, you have to reach inside yourself and pull-out courage. You can’t let yourself give up, giving up is easy.
If you are expecting everything to be handed to you in life, you will always fail. Life is hard, it is a challenge and work. Comparing confidences men must have to date to something relatable. Let’s say you want a boat. It is one you have always been wanting. So, you work an extra job or put in overtime. You may have to rearrange your garage or property to park your new boat.
The point is, you will kill yourself, work yourself to death to get what you want. So I ask you, how is this any different than going after the woman you want? Sure, the boat really can’t reject you, but there is a point here. You had a goal, something you wanted, and you did what you had to do to get it. In this scenario, you learned how not to be afraid to go after something you wanted.
Be Honorable and Trustworthy
You may be wondering what these traits have to do with building confidences men must have to date. When you behave as someone others can count on, that creates self-respect. Once you start feeling good about yourself, that strengthens your belief in yourself.
For any change to improve yourself, it has to start with you. If you are looking for a cheering section, then you’re going about it wrong. So being a moral and respectful person, is for your benefit. Be a person that says what they mean and means what they say.
Always do the right thing, don’t disrespect or cheat others. Always try and keep your word. Because the more wear these attributes, the better you will feel about yourself. Confident people live by principles and values. It defines your character and also establishes your self-worth.
Don’t Care What Others Think
Not caring what others think doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It just means you stand by your own thoughts, and stand up for yourself. You are always going to have people tell you that you can’t do something or no point in trying. That is where you stand up for yourself and ignore the negative input from others. One of the strongest confidences men must have to date, is to be hos own man.
Sadly, the world is full of narcissistic people that don’t want you doing better then them. You also have people that can’t think past a beer and bag of chips. So, do not let people like that deter you from doing what you want.
Your goals and dreams are just that, they are yours, no one else’s. So, the only one that has to believe in the things you do and the direction you’re going is you. Just remember, many of our inventors and explorers that made great discoveries. They to were told they were stupid and wasting their time. Just because others don’t have vision or optimism, doesn’t mean you can’t.
Do Things for Yourself
If you are anything like me, you are always doing for others and putting yourself on the backburner. There is nothing wrong with being altruistic and generally being a nice guy. However, there is a point when you have to take care of you. Always doing for others, causes you to lose focus of your goals and dreams. And in turn, you start losing confidence in yourself because you are letting yourself down.
Sadly, when it come to helping others, you will start discovering who your real friends are. Real friends don’t make all their problems your problems. A real friend is going to tell you and push you into doing what you like. Being a nice and helpful guy can be a hard life. Too many are ready to use those that are like that. I know from personal experience.
Take care of your problems and do things that remind you of who you really are. Single full-time dads have a really tough life. Single dads are basically moms. They sacrifice all their life, needs and desires for their kids. Thus, losing their true identity and causing a loss of confidence. Do the things that make you happy. A happier you, makes you more attractive to women. Otherwise, you come off as someone with a load of baggage.
Talk To Anyone and Everyone
One of the confidences men must have to date is being comfortable with conversation. If you just meet a girl and you stand there with a loss for words, that pretty much ends that. Girls love to laugh and talk, so if you suck at conversation, give up on dating.
Start talking to people at work, friends and family. Once you feel you are getting the hang of it, start talking to strangers. Next time you are at the grocery store or hardware store. Strike up a conversation with a man or woman. Although, if you start talking to women more, you are going to start becoming comfortable with women.
One issue men have when it comes to talking to a hot girl they want to get to know. They don’t think about just talking to her like you would anyone else. A guy will get all tongue tied or says stupid things. So, if you get comfortable talking to anyone, should make it easy the next time you meet that hot girl.
Confidences Men Must Have To Date
Now from everything above, you should understand you need some real personal confidence first. With real confidence, the rest of this should come pretty easy. Women can see real confidence in a man. If you have worked on your core confidence any, the following should win you some dates.
Body language is key to attract women. A lot of a man’s body language comes from how he is feeling. So, if you are feeling down or like a loser, that is how you will be perceived. It could be that you are a person always in a hurry, that will show in body language as well.
Stand up straight, take some pride in how you stand or walk. There is a dominant stance that wreaks of confidence. However, it can also come off as a little to stiff. If you keep your shoulders squared with your hands down to your side, it says confidence. But this can make a man seem a little to uptight or uneasy. When standing with your arms folded, that kind of gives off a vibe to keep a distance.
The best thing to do is just hold a strong posture and stand straight. Slumped shoulders or slouching conveys that you are bored or uninterested. So, when standing or walking, just imaging you just got a million-dollar lottery check.
Hand gestures are important. It is usually best to keep your hands out of your pockets. Somewhere between your waist and chest with your palms facing each other. Just resist fidgeting around with your hand or body. Just act easy going but still lightly talk with your hands.
While talking with a woman, using a small amount of hand language can show you are animated. In other words, you are not boring. Showing women even a little bit of your palms, indicates that you are open and comfortable. Don’t stand there with your palms out to be obvious about it. Practice talking with your hands in the mirror. Ensure they are not going on every word said. However, enough to where you can expose your palms from time to time.
Don’t forget your eyebrows. They can say a lot, too high can seem rude. Too low might seem you’re annoyed. If you don’t move them at all, can seem bored or uninterested. Just move them enough to show you’re interested. Practice in the mirror.
Don’t Back Away
During a good conversation, at any time she might make a move toward you or lean toward you. Do not back away. Either match her move or stand your ground. By doing so shows you have confidence, backing off might make her think you’re not interested. Matching her move by moving towards her can show her you have more than friend intentions. This can be a very good turn-on.
Use Your Lips
Your lips are another power means to convey a sexual connection. If you feel there may be some chemistry between you and a girl, the lips can do a lot. As long as you are subtle and not frequent with some gestures, this can be a real turn-on.
Lips are the first sexual connection you will have with women. If you want to convey more of a sexual interest, touch your lips from time to time while talking to her. Also, lightly licking your lips combined with touching them will draw her attention to them. This needs to be done naturally and not frequent. Done wrong and you will look like a creep. However, done right, you may end up with some kissing.
Another tip for the lips. Having your lips slightly open, especially when you first make eye contact, can have a message. “You take my breath away.” This is also another subtle way to let her know you would like to kiss her. All of these can be practiced in the mirror. Again, it all has to be done subtle and naturally. Done wrong, you will look like a freak.
Don’t Be Afraid to Smile
Smiling lets people know that you are approachable. It conveys that you’re friendly and most likely easy to have a conversation with. Do not force a smile, that comes off fake or even creepy, just think happy thoughts.
Having a smile also shows that you are relaxed and calm, this makes you inviting. You smile should be so much it looks like you’re going to lose it into a hard laughter. Just enough that makes you seem like you know a secret. You find something humorous that no one else sees.
Eye Contact is a Must
If you afraid to look at a woman, this definitely shows you lack confidence. Granted, if you are staring hard and long enough, you might come off creepy. The best method is to ensure she catches you looking at her. Once she sees you, turn away but slowly, do not act like you didn’t want her to catch you.
If and when you do get to talk with her, make sure you look into her eyes when talking. Looking away while talking shows you are insecure. This is actually a skill and you may need to practice some. Your looking, doesn’t need to be intense or a hard stare. That will come off creepy or even scary.
The best way to practice can be applied from practicing talking to people from earlier. When you are practicing talking to people, ensure that you look at them while conversing. That shows that they have your undivided attention.
So, eye contact is one of the confidences men must have that to date, that is really important. This one really shows if you have confidence and also conveys to her how interested you are.
Another one of those confidences men must have to date is looking cool. One of the best ways, is through preening yourself, although it has to be done right. A man will naturally worry if he looks alright anyway before approaching a woman. I wouldn’t recommend stopping and looking in a mirror where a girl can see you. However, straightening your tie, rearranging your clothes or brushing back your hair with you fingers. These little movements let her know you are interested.
This is another thing you can practice in a mirror. Done correctly, can look cool and shows you have confidence. If anything else, watch some movies with a cool guy in it and see how he behaves.
Keep A Positive Persona
When talking to women, avoid negative or depressing topics. There are those type of con artist that know how to use sympathy as a tool. So unless you have these type skills, don’t try to use the sympathy card.
You want to present yourself as someone that has it all together, that you are going places. If you start talking about everyone you knew has died, or bring up a terrible childhood. These types of conversations make it appear you can’t get out of the past.
Keep your conversations on positive topics and learn to use inflections in your voice. If you talk only at one level of voice, you will sound monotone. Monotone is boring and you can cause a woman to lose interest real fast.
Talk about your goals and ambitions, you want to ensure she sees you as someone looking to his future. One of the best topics is travel, places you have been or want to go. Get her to tell you her dreams, as this can create a positive experience for her. This will cause her to remember you in a very positive way.
Talking with the right kind voice inflections also takes practice. You don’t want to sound like a little kid getting ice cream. You also don’t want to sound dead and boring. Compare your voices from something you really got excited about to a time you were at the doctor’s office. Play with these comparisons to control your positive voice.
The best way to get started on getting confidences men must have to date, is by making a list. You may already have some of these traits that we went over. Evaluate yourself to see what or where you need to improve. Remember, for any advice to work, you have to make it naturally a part of who you are. None of this can be faked, if you do, you will fail. It isn’t that you change the person you are, you are just trying to improve who you are all through gaining real confidence.
- Develop real true confidence
- Learn and understand body language, yours and hers
- Be positive and smile
- Always use eye contact
- Always be yourself, don’t be fake or a liar
Learn these confidences and you will become successful at getting dates. Becoming a real man is what excites and attracts women. Once you have achieved developing real confidence, puts you in a position to date or go after the type of girl you really want. If you want to learn more about going after a specific type of girl you might be looking for, check out my offer below.
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