When most guys think of online dating, they think it’s an instant date with a push of a button. Although, once they get online, go through an hour or more of setup, disappointment sets in. A guy might find 30 women in his area he wants to start a conversations with. But even with all his efforts, he gets no results because the odds are against him. And this is why online dating is so hard for men.
Even though some statistics say that around 60% of people are happy with online dating. There are still numbers stacked against the men. You can take a look at the “Online Dating Statistics.” I have done my own studies, and found quite often that these sites are full of “Shallow Shoppers.”
Men are ready to connect quickly with anyone that might respond to a message. Women on the other hand have many to sort through, way too many! Women tend to look at online dating like going shopping for clothes.So, this could be why online dating is so hard for men, Could this be a big factor?
Is Online Dating Really Worth It?
Imagine someone from another planet observing our dating rituals. If they saw how confusing and complex we are, they would for sure see us as a lost cause.
One issue is, married or committed men using dating sites to get them some extra on the side. Then you have shallow women that treat dating sites like a custom order venue. Women’s first criteria has to be the guy is over six foot tall. Even men feel they are going to select a Victoria Secret Model when searching.
So both sexes enter unrealistic expectations in their search criteria, only to end up with disappointment. So, men get offended by women because they are not six feet. Women get insulted because they don’t have a size 0 waist.
The biggest let-down on dating sites is the messages, or the lack of. Men will send out 50 messages in a day. They start with the young hot girls and work their way to what they think they’ll tolerate. At the end of the day, they might get one response.
Women get can get up to 100 messages a day. It just isn’t feasible for her to read all the messages. So, she has to scan the subject lines, trying to pick the ones that stand out.
In both scenarios, both sexes are possibly missing out on a person that might be a perfect match. Speaking of matching. These brilliant sites with these stupid matching algorithms, why on earth? These rarely work, it doesn’t even make sense. Do you think a computer is going to pick a lover for you? So all this hassle and confusion, is this why online dating is so hard for men?
In the beginning of online dating, there were way more men than women on these sites. This of course that many men were going to be disappointed, as there weren’t enough women to go around. Now the ratio is teetering on about half and half. However, this still doesn’t give the guy much advantage. In order for him to succeed, he will have to stand out above the rest.
Your Real Reason For Online Dating
Let’s look at your motive for trying to find a woman online. You might not feel have enough game to get a girl in person. Maybe, you just have no clue where to meet a woman. Could it be that you just don’t have a lot of time to get out to meet women? Are you just looking to get laid or get a little extra on the side of your already existing relationship?
The person you need to be honest with about why and what you’re looking for is yourself. If you have no clue and just getting online for the fun of. Well, you might end up with more dates than those with true agendas.
Online dating is ideal for getting a date, for the simple fact everyone knows what they are all there for. Unlike meeting women out in public. You never sure how to read the situation, you could even get in an altercation. At least most are getting on a dating site looking for the same thing.
In some ways online dating is lazy, and a man really isn’t putting his all into it. You create a profile and push a button. Kind of like sitting in a boat, casting your line and sit and wait. In person interest, though there might be a challenge. It is that challenge that proves to yourself how bad you want it. Even though online dating is so hard for men, it is safe. You also have a better chance to meet someone, even though the odds are against you.
Where To Meet Women
Just about every advice online or from dating coaches focus on meeting women in bars. I hate to break it to all these experts, but not every man on the planet goes to bars. That doesn’t leave a lot of places left.
That perhaps leaves church if you attend. That presents issues, as most everyone knows everyone in church. So your life wouldn’t be private if it worked out. If the attempt to date fails, then everyone knows about that too.
That leaves work, but that is about the same issues as church. Well, except at work, there is always a sexual harassment charge since we live in retarded times. God forbid giving a woman a gentlemanly compliment at work these days.
Your best places to meet women are going to be when you are out and about. Places like a grocery store or a mall. Although, this makes meeting them a little more stressful. But shouldn’t be much harder than a bar. This just means you will have to pick up your game.
If you remove all the local places, this leaves online. There of course, are online communities you can join. Also, forums and sites of alike interest and such. It doesn’t always have to be a dating site.
However, men on anything online, often comes off as wolves in a heard of sheep. They sometime appear desperate or even creepy. This often sets a tone that all men are this way. This is just some of the reasons online dating is so hard for men.
The Pros And Cons Of Online Dating
I have mentioned some of the pros on online dating already. Let’s look at some of the benefits and then look at why online dating is so hard for men.
As I mentioned, being on a site looking for a date will be common play for everyone. Everyone knows why they are on the site. No one should be surprised or offended because you are looking to get a date.
People are busier today than we ever have been before. So, being able to look for a date at your convenience can help. Also, having the benefit of being able to access a dating site from almost anywhere is great. By having so much access, might help you from missing that one you are looking for.
Dating sites have the ability to filter your criteria of traits you are looking for. If you are looking for tall or a certain hair color, you can enter that into your search. Reading profiles can also help you screen more of what you are looking for. This can save a lot of time from actually going out on a blind date. Those can end up badly if the person turns out to be weird.
Looking At The Cons Of Online Dating
As great as searching for a date can be online, it also has a major downfall. For the most part, all aspects of online dating are practical and awesome. All but one thing, and that is actually making connections.
Now this is all from the aspect of a man looking for a woman. Although women don’t have it easy either. Many women get on these sites like it is an online shopping mall. Of course, the men do this as well.
People get on these sites; think they are going to enter a search for the perfect mate. Then push a button, and you get an instant perfect LOOKING date. I emphasize “looking” because that is what many do first. They search for who is hot. Women want a tall fun guy. Men want a hot 10 Victoria Secret model.
These are unrealistic expectations and also very shallow. Yes, we all have an idea of the looks of what we desire. There is nothing wrong with that, but if that is all you are looking for, you’re doomed.
I am not that tall, around 5’8”, so I tend to look for shorter girls. In my searches, I ran across a girl that was 4’10”. We loved many of the same things and she was cute. I wrote a catchy message and got her to write me back.
Instantly she starts telling me that she got on because she broke up with her boyfriend. But now they are back together. Now she is just looking for friends. With some finagling, she confessed that she only liked tall guys.
So, out of spite, I created a new profile using images of a celebrity that I looked similar to. I put that my height was 6’2” and contacted her. We went back and forth messaging for 2 days, we really hit it off. I actually included my pictures in with a few of the celebrity, so this wasn’t all based on looks.
I then asked her if she was fine that I was 5’8”? She come back asking if I wasn’t 6’2”. I told her that was a mistake. She started going on again that she only dated tall guys. Then I pointed out that I was the one from my original profile and that she seemed a bit shallow.
It would have been different if I was only an inch or two taller than her. But even at 5’8” over 4’10, what would really be the issue? We were hitting it off, loved many of the same things and had a great report.
This just proved that there are many idiotic people on these dating sites. People that are not interested in an actual real relationship. If physical attributes are the most important. Then they are most likely only looking for a physical relationship.
Be Direct About What You Are Looking For
If all you are looking for is a casual date or just looking to get laid. Make that clear, don’t go on how you are looking for the love of your life. Then, the first time a woman messages just wanting sex, go for that instead.
It is strongly recommended, if you don’t know what you want, wait till you do. If you get on a dating site not sure what you want, let everyone know.
Not knowing what you want can be confusing to those who do. You can’t expect someone else to help you figure out what it is you’re looking for.
Your Profile Is Stupid
Here is the major biggest reason online dating is so hard for men. The young guys love to show how tight their abs are. So, half their pictures are them without shirts. Older guys that still have a decent stomach do the same.
Starting your profile off with “HEY”, is boring. Going on about your work or the details of your day-to-day life won’t work either.
Also, when it comes to your pictures. When you have them with an ex-girlfriend or a bad location, can ruin all your chances. Nothing is sexier of a shirtless guy in his bathroom and a big turd floating in the toilet behind you.
For you idiotic married men. Think about your bathroom shot when all your wife’s stuff is hanging around.
What about a picture of your kids or dog? First off, don’t be stupid, this is a public dating site. Meaning, you have no idea who is on the other end of a keyboard. Just because the profile is showing a hot girl, doesn’t mean it is.
Don’t be putting single solo shots of you kids on your profile. Well, unless you want someone to kidnap them or worse. Also, get your head out of your butt. The person on the other end is wanting to get to know you, not your animal. This goes for both sexes, don’t be showing solo shots of your dog.
A picture with you and your animal or kid that isn’t too detailed is fine. This shows you have a heart. But don’t be taking pictures that shows where you live or has your actual address in them. The world is a crazy place, learn to be safe.
The Numbers Are Against You
The biggest downfall to online dating is messages and here is why. Women get hundreds of messages in their inboxes a day. Men do lucky to get 4 or 5 a day, if that much. It is difficult to impossible for a girl to read all of her messages. So, your sweet heartfelt message is probably just sitting there if not deleted. Never being read, which means you just wasted your time writing it.
Unless a girl has nothing at all to do all day long but read messages. Chances are, your message never got read. If it did get read, it was scanned over more so than really read. This means, you need to know how and what to say, to grab her attention.
Online Dating Is Hard For Men, So What Can You Do?
When it comes to online dating, it doesn’t matter if you’re hot or not. You first have to get noticed by women to get your chance. Now women do go out and shop for guys. So, if you are hot, tall and look like fun. You might get a message from them
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Fantastic article. It’s no different in the gay world. I hear story after story of frustration. Thanks for writing this.
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